Diary of a spiritual experience in Bahamas – Week two

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Diary of a spiritual experience in Bahamas – Week two

As you know, I am at the Sivananda Shrine in Bahamas – place where I am studying for the 500-hours yoga instructor certification. It is a very intense mental, emotional and physical experience. In this article, I will share with you my weekly diary.


I am in an exotic paradise where I am forced to discipline, to intensively practice this spiritual science called Yoga and to surpass the majority of my mental and emotional limitations.

Why and how I got here you can see HERE, in the diary of my first week here.

My daily schedule, or rather – my detox process:

  • Wake up at 4:45 in the morning
  • 5:00 – pranayama class (breathing exercises)
  • 6:00 – 8:00 – Satsang (meditation, Kirtan and philosophy)
  • 8:00 – 9:00 – First yoga class
  • 9:00 – 10:00 – Anatomy
  • 10:00 – 11:00 – First meal of the day
  • 12:00 – 13:00 – Sanskrit class or Rāja Yoga
  • 13:00 – 14:00 – Karma yoga (community service – I work in their boutique)
  • 14:00 – 16:00 – Philosophy
  • 16:00 – 18:00 – Yoga
  • 18:00 – Second meal of the day
  • 20:00 – 22:00 – Evening Satsang

And now, what is actually going on inside:


Raja Yoga class

Day 8 :

The morning pranayama classes are getting harder and harder. I woke up with a slight stomach ache so those contractions necessary in practice were not very good for me. All I wanted was to go back to bed and get under the blanket, so I excused myself from the morning Satsang and I slept a little while longer. Unfortunately though, I woke up even more tired.

At night, I dream very much, same as in every relaxation we do, I instantly enter into a dream state without falling asleep. Either I am being enlightened or I am going bonkers because of the fatigue. To be realistic, I honestly think it’s the latter.

Days are very intense, very much alike and go by extremely fast.

The spiritual exercise in this course is quite focused, we are all in a constant process of emotional liberation and in moments of pure inspiration. I am curious as to where it will lead to until the end.

At this moment, 21:21, I am listening to the presentation of a psychiatrist speaking about the mindfulness technique. The main idea? We can train our mind to develop new mental behaviors and abilities we want in our lives such as: confidence, relaxation, focus, inspiration, even a new personality. How? By practice, practice and practice again. If you want to know more about this topic, I recommend “Evolve your brain” by Joe Dispenza.

The idea of the day: we can take control of our mind to shape it the way we want. Thoughts, emotions, a general perspective on life.


My favourite Swami/ Teacher 🙂

Day 9:

There are 18 days left!!! 18!!! Somehow I am glad because I still have time to better integrate the practice and the transformation which goes with it, but in the same time I am very tired and I think I will only recover at home, when I will sleep more than 5 hours a night.

Each day has a certain emotional theme. One day you miss your family, in another you miss your partner, in another you miss the comfort of your home, in another you are scared thinking about life etc. today, for me, was the day I missed being pampered, a nice hotel, a beach bar, a backless dress and a glass of rosé. Though when I’ll actually be doing this, I will probably wish I were in the Bahamas ashram. The way the mind works, right!?

Today in philosophy class I learned how happiness roots from within us. We look for it in other people, in objects and experiences, thou even when we find it in those things it is merely the reflection of our inner being in the material world. But how do we achieve that emotional independence – that happiness dependent on nothing and nobody? I know this theory is true, I feel it, though I feel frustrated because I have no idea how to actually reach it. Meditate three hours a day? Will anyone guarantee that this will work? I know that this is just my mind rummaging through the doubts and insecurities drawer, a natural reaction on this path to profound transformation.

Yoga is one of the paths through which we can reach mental and emotional balance, the only basic condition though, is discipline.

I wrote an article especially o tackle this topic of emotional independence, which you can find HERE.

The idea of the day: we find temporary happiness in objects, in people in circumstances, then we are hurt because nothing around us is permanent.


Handstand in Hatha yoga Class

Day 10: 

Now I am in the evening Satsan and I am listening to the most impressive speech of an Indian man which seems to have come from another planet. His name is Panache Desai.

Everything he utters is illuminating, no word is added uselessly, no word without an enormous spiritual charge – I am deeply impressed.

He speaks about truth, about love and about the need to accept each other the way we are.

” Be who you’re here to be”

“Each one of us is expressing divinity uniquely”. 

People in the room are mesmerized. His perspective resembles the Hindu perspective, but some of the basic ideas are totally different. For example, Hindus say that in this lifetime there is nothing but suffering and therefore we have to see that this life is a mirage, while Panache says that this life is a mirage of which you need to enjoy and experience. Hindus say that the mind and emotions should be purified, while he says that we should accept each other as we are, we are exactly how we have to be in this lifetime.

He said at one point that the Earth is a kind of the Las Vegas of the Universe. I watch the faces of the swami and they are shocked.

The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, but also, the truth is relative, just like this reality, though this man has brought a dose of fresh energy in the ashram. I’m almost sure that tomorrow there will be a big fuss in our community due to this new vision of life.

PS: do you know that yesterday I had that desire to drink a glass of wine? Well, obviously I didn’t, but last night I dreamed that I woke up at 4:30, as usual, but hungover :))))) Terrible

The idea of the day: Learn to live the totality of who you are! In order to know God, you must start as God.


Satsang Satsang (in free translation: meeting with the wise)

Day 11:

I was right! In each class, at the table and even at the boutique, everybody was talking about the local’s speech last night. To my surprise, many of them say they left the event confused. Confused in the sense that they no longer understand what to do, to further work on their mind and their emotions, or to accept themselves as they are, with their fears, negative thoughts, disbeliefs or what not. In my opinion, every human being has his or her own truth and you receive the information which resonates most with you from everywhere, so as to create an approach to life as beautiful and healthy as possible.

The course is becoming more and more intense and my inner state is becoming clearer. I remember how I felt when I finished the Teacher Training Course (TTC) in this very place two years ago – a state of peace, awareness, balance, acceptance and happiness. This whole environment is favorable for inner development and self-discovery, starting with the healthy food and ending with the overall energy of this place, supported by the nature of the activities.

Yoga Meditation Scriptures Study Pranayama Rituals Kirtan Lectures

The most skeptical man will leave here at peace :))

Tomorrow is Easter, which coincides with our free day. I’m curious what ceremony will take place. Although I’ll go in town at lunch to drink an alcohol-free cocktail!

A quiet evening! Om

Idea of the day: After a negative thought, bring a positive idea into your consciousness and let that feeling, that reality melt into your body – Feel it and integrate it. 


The healthy food I got a little bored of

Day 12:

Now I am listening to the lecture of a shaman about the 60 year-old lady who practices this ancient science to heal and to bring harmony to people on all levels.

Today is the Holy Easter day and in the morning I witnessed a truly special event. During Satsang, everybody was gathered and we joyfully welcomed a gospel group from Nassau, the capital of Bahamas. A group of 15 energy-filled black women, along with their pastor. It was a magical morning! Imagine this:

Easter day, on a small island in the Bahamas called Paradise Island in a Hindu ashram, a group of 200 people sitting quietly in front of two Swami, a pastor, a gospel group and a psychic. There’s that saying: life beats film. It’s so random, laughing with those around me that one cannot really convey the present state, it was as if it were straight out of a movie.

Today we talked about the fact that it doesn’t matter what your religion is, what color or nationality you are, because we are bound by the most powerful force: love. Love for life, knowledge of self or of God, whatever the name of one’s God.

Therefore, I wish you a magical Easter from a place where all cultures, religions or philosophies are accepted, because the essence is one, only the words are different.

Christ is risen!

The idea of the day: did you know that it only takes 16 seconds to change your mental or emotional energetic state?


Two Swami, a pastor and a psychic –sounds like a title of a parody

Day 13:

I woke up at 04:15 with a message from my Indian collaborator for Journeys for the Soul, he was asking for my attention on a little “issue”. This forced reentry of my energy into the real world shook me. Surely, the sudden awakening at such a tough hour contributed, though I couldn’t relax at all during meditation either, nor during pranayama. I had to get off my pink cloud to solve the issue through a couple of phone calls and emails. Is it truly easier to be Zen on a paradise island somewhere away from real life.

As yesterday was a free day, today everyone was overcome by fatigue. Probably because we stepped out of the alert pace we had grown accustomed to.

At sunset I took a walk on the beach, just me and my thoughts. The ocean is wonderful, it is our energy supply when we are overwhelmed emotionally, physically or mentally.

Now, at 22:00, I’m fondly thinking of the moment I will get in bed.


The idea of the day: Suffering ceases when you succeed to stop identifying with it.  


Sanskrit class

Day 14:

I woke up again with messages from the real world which brought me down to Earth, but I decided to no longer ruin my mood, I took 10 of the 15 free minutes and I talked on the phone with those from India and from Romania.

At 10:00 I realized that half of the course had passed. I decided at that moment that I will try to be as aware as possible, to not get lost in thoughts and in whims because of fatigue or because of the mind which always wanders into the future.

In the only hour-long break, I tried to sleep, but the kids from the next room decided to hold a yelling and screaming concert. I woke up slightly frustrated, or slightly more and with 5 minutes before the class I ran down to the ocean. It really helped because I was overwhelmed. I came back another person 🙂

In philosophy class I started to realize that I do not agree with some of the ideas of the Vedanta (Hindu spiritual philosophy). For example, they say that in this lifetime there is only suffering, as everything is suffering, because even those moments of happiness bring pain by the mere fact that they are not permanent. In my opinion, life is about experience, about happiness, suffering, dreams and feelings. I also think we create our own reality, so it is somewhat our duty to be happy and to see life through a positive perspective.

But for that I’m grateful that I started to develop that inner happiness about which we hear so much, that happiness which doesn’t depend on our surroundings.


The idea of the day: You are not your thoughts or your emotions!



Two more weeks at this pace, I said, and either I’m leaving more enlightened or more confused than I came. But I love it, I feel like I’m doing something really important for myself, but also for all those with whom I will come into contact from now on. The only regret is that I can’t spend more time on this beautiful beach, even if it is located 2 minutes away from my room. Physically, I don’t have time. Except during the free day 🙂

PS: If you’re curious and want to know more about this place:



Om Namah Shivaya!







I believe in a perfect life, a magical life, searching and finding beauty and energy in everything around