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How Bali forced me to follow my dreams

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How Bali forced me to follow my dreams

Wow Bali, I knew you would change my life, but I didn’t expect it this way!

My life is completely different since I moved in Bali, 4 moths ago. But in the last 10 days, this island has twisted my world upside down. I knew Bali will change me, but I never thought that in such an abrupt manner. I felt the magic of this place, but I didn’t know that sometimes, it has only tough love to give, like a parent that is not letting you to stay in fear or to stay in your comfort zone.

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Ten days ago I was in Ubud, with my mother, planning to go back home, to my boyfriend of eight years.  Now, I am alone, on a plane to India, going on my first solo trip ever, and hoping to evolve, to discover new parts of myself and to heal my broken heart.

I followed my dream and I moved in Bali, but after four months I started to feel stuck, so I had the urge to continue the dream, to discover other amazing spiritual and exotic destinations. But my boyfriend was still home, not being able to share my dream. Also, my mother didn’t want to travel anymore, so I was facing a very big dilemma for a few weeks: What should I do?! Should I follow the flow of energy and continue the road? Or should I go back home to be near my loved one? I was struggling to take a decision so bad. My inner world was spinning without any reference point. One day I was waking up excited making plans to visit Kerala, India, the next one I was waking up crying and missing my boyfriend, wanting to go back home and to stay on the couch watching movies together.

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One day, I visited Ida Resi Aalit, a Balinese High Priestess where people are attending a very beautiful water purification ritual. Before I started the ceremony, I made an intention: “May I be relaxed and capable of releasing any tension that is holding me back from taking the right decision.”

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The next day I was calmer, and after a talk with some friends, I decided to go home. I really wanted to give another chance to love, I thought the dream could wait for a few months.

 

But apparently, the Universe had other plans, because when I called my boyfriend to give him the big news, he was somehow not excited, as I thought he would be, and he told me : “I think you shouldn’t come home, you will not be happy because you are not pursuing your dream, and I am not the same person as before, I have also changed, I am happy that I am now using my energy for work and for myself, for the first time . . . ”

It hurt, so bad, it’s still hurting a lot! But it was the most beautiful gesture that he could do for both of us. It was the right decision, but I didn’t have the courage to take it. I was too afraid. But he did, and that’s how I knew that he has really changed. 

I think the most painful part is that we still love each other but our goals in life are so different . . .

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So, in only two days, I was facing a totally different reality: I had no place or reason to go back, because it would have been too painful to be home without him. My mother wanted to go back. So I had to plan my first solo trip, alone with a broken heart! What better way to start over and to discover your true self ?! What better gift from the Universe, than to make a change, to reinvent yourself and to live accordingly with your biggest desires. . .

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I had to face the real situation: Ok, now you have nothing that is holding you back, no place to be, no ties, no plans, only dreams. What are you going to do? How big can you dream? No more excuses, let’s plan The Dream! And you’re on your own!

So the first stop: Kerala, India.

I have always dreamed about visiting India, but I never found anyone to come along, and going alone in India was not on my To Do List. Apparently, when your soul has a calling, you can not wait for others for too long.

I chose Kerala because I heard that it’s easier to experience as a solo traveller, and it is also the the home of Ayurveda and a lot of beautiful ashrams.

Here, I am planning to explore, to live in ashrams and to pamper my body and mind in ayurveda centres. I am planning to discover myself through the powerful energy of India, and I wish to learn more about an authentic practice of yoga and meditation. I can’t wait to see what this place has to offer . . .

 The next dream / step? The Maldives.

My lifelong dream destination, The Maldives. I have always wanted to visit this piece of heaven, so now, without anything to hold me back, I thought, why not going as a single person in a paradise destination for couples and newly weds ?!  :)) Why not getting over a breakup in the place I have dreamed of visiting with him? It’s a strange perspective, but I know it will be good for me.

I am curious how this place will feel as a solo traveller, just enjoying the view and some relaxing quality time with myself.

 Something beyond my imagination is giving me power and courage to take this trip, maybe it is the energy from realising my dreams, or maybe it is my mission, or maybe both.

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Now, in the first day of my solo experience, I am sitting in a very beautiful and spacious hotel room, at the luxurious Melia Bali, where I am just enjoying the beginning of this wonderful journey. I think it’s a good start, a big room just for myself, luxury before the ashram life, but I have always known how to experience both 🙂 Tomorrow I am leaving for Kerala.

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I am very excited, curious and nervous in the same time. But that’s how life is placing us in certain situations in order to grow and to achieve our dreams. You know that my blog’s motto is : Travel the World outside, to Discover the World Inside. Well, this trip will give me the chance to do this, but now I have one more thing on the plate: to transform this emotional pain into something beautiful, into confidence and power . . .

Travelling is experience, and experience teaches us more than anything on this Planet, about us as human beings, about our mind and about our emotions. Each day you can discover new parts of yourself, through the events that you are encountering on your path. Being aware of this is true spirituality . . .IMG_4572

Some will say that I am pursuing the road from Eat, Pray, Love, but in another order. Bali – check, Italy – check, now India. It was not my intention, but I guess these are places of power where women like to search for the meaning of life:) And a lot of times they even find it.

A conscious journey, a solo journey, doesn’t mean to be alone, it means to be outside of your comfort zone, it means to be open to receive what the environment gives you, to be open to listen to your thoughts while sitting alone, but also to be able to share them with strangers.

So, just enjoy the journey!

Now, I have a new saying:

” When you don’t know what decision to take, it’s better not to take any, because shortly, the Universe will decide for you”. When it’s time to move, you will be forced to move.

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I will keep you posted about my inner and outer journey in Kerala and The Maldives. Wish me good luck !

Travel the World Outside, to Discover the World Inside!

Padmakshi

Padmakshi

I believe in a perfect life, a magical life, searching and finding beauty and energy in everything around

3 Comments

  • Marci McDougall

    Oh Maria, you are so incredibly wise and beautiful. I feel very grateful to have met you and shared an amazing experience with you!! If you ever decide to visit Canada, please do not hesitate to call on Mikayla and I!!

    February 23, 2016 at 6:03 pm
  • Portia

    Thank you for the inspiration sister. May Mother India strengthen and heal your heart, may she guide you safely in your journey. Let go and let God.

    February 23, 2016 at 8:33 pm
  • Luz

    Inspiration!!!

    July 25, 2017 at 8:08 pm

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